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deafening music.
immoral behaviours.
redundant splurgings.
inconsiderate and ceaseless pushing.
illusive lightings.
unwanted temptations.
foolish actions.
especially for me, bad memories and
the effort to try to enjoy.
there was no excitement,
for the most part, indifference and tiresome.
and many times, disgust and pain.
i painted a deceptively pleasing mask,
because nobody saw that the mask was suffocating.
underneath the mask were desires,
a desire to make sense of everything,
and a desire for higher meanings.
i resent this place, i honestly do.
why can't you see what I see?
right, who am i to make such expectations?
on what rights i impose my values and my perpectives?
but i only got this to say,
don't trust our eyes when our imagination is out of focus.
the imagination is...
what we think we want and what we really want.
what we get now and what we will suffer later.
"it should be fine" and "it is not fine".
when our imagination is out of focus,
the things we thought to be satisfying and gratifying,
could take away so much from us later.
the focus is thinking right and having the right thinking.
focus first, then trust our eyes.
don't choose the easy way out.
because it is barely easier next time...