hello, it's been a while.

i'm back. i read several of the latest posts on this blog before it was neglected by me for about half a year. and man, i was thinking "so many things have changed in the past six months." funny, the latest post's title was "it's a good start". and now i rebuke it, "what a good joke?" the past six months was so surreal, it was like a dream. even now, there are some things i just can't reconcile with. life, you've got me fooled again. God, you've got me tested again. you know, realities always smack you in the face when you've painted life too beautifully? realities always fall short of your expectations.about two months ago, this friend of mine told me, "jo, don't let these take your positivity away, your positivity is part of who you are." i question myself now, "just who am i?"

it's a good start.

I really enjoyed myself at CCS today! (: Firstly, it's the first Sunday of 2009! Secondly, we played quite a number of games, so managed to interact more with the people there! Lastly & most importantly, my lil brother went with me! I truly enjoyed his company. I think it's the good feeling of having a family member going church with me... I guess it's an inner longing which I didn't realise until today, awesome (: I texted him just now after he booked in and he replied saying he wants to go CCS again next week cuz he really likes the environment and he was happy there today! (: He also finds Jocelyn and Lydia amiable and amusing HAHA! They're really soo funny..reminds me of zhuzhu and I (not so much now though). And my goodness many at church said he looks like me! That's so rare and odd, no one ever said that. Anyhow, yayy I love my brother, he is sooooo funny. Hmmm I don't like resolutions but I made several today during DG nonetheless.

Digging Deeper and Experiencing God (:

This broken & contrite heart

2008 was a really tough year... I don't say this every year. Growing up, in the past few years especially, makes me realise that promises and resolutions are, really, seldom resolute.We make them, then we break them; others make them, then they break them. So much so, we've unknowingly banalized the phrase "Promises/resolutions are made to be broken". Surely, pointing a finger at you, I have the rest pointing back at myself... I've been blind, for I always see not my own iniquities, but others' flaws. I've been deaf, for I always hear not the unpleasantness about myself, but the pleasantness. And partly because of this blindness and this deafness, 2008 was a lot tougher than any other... I asked myself on the last day of 2008 what would my resolutions be for 2009, I thought of many possible ones but I just couldn't focus on any. I don't want to make resolutions...lest I break them again? Maybe, I am not sure. My heart tells me it's tired of severed promises and broken resolutions. I reflected on the past year but what lies ahead, I really don't know. And so, on the last day of 2008, I offered God my broken spirit, my broken bones and my broken heart. He will lead.

I don't want a heart for myself, I want a heart for Christ.
And this broken & contrite heart of mine, I know He will not despise.

Have an awesome one, everyone. (:

What's next?

passed & gone.

1
we met,
we spoke,
we hugged,
we walked,
we laughed,
we cherished,
we tripped,
we stumbled,
we fell,
we hurt,
we climbed,
we doubted,
we weakened,
we abandoned,
we broke,
we talked,
we cried,
we held,
we pulled,
we recovered,
we stood,
we prayed,
we believed,
we overcame,
we smiled
we survived,
and then...
we triumph.

when the old dies,
the new lives.

let me introduce to you...

3

2He is small BBKK (:
So cuteeee right!
I don't usually like such stuff but..this is exceptional.
In fact, I've eyed it since it was first launched few years back!
Although I really like it, I didn't get it in the past cuz I found it overpriced.
BUT I bought it yesterday at Melaka!
Cuz it cost less than half of the price in Singapore! Goodness me!
Yayyy.
I feel relaxed looking at bbkk haha! He really looks like..someone (:
See that uncanny familarity? Say yes!
Jo is a happy woman who just returned from a good trip to Melaka,
had a great (and funny and random) chat with d,
received a meaningful picture (eternity!),
is going to play DOTA with her brother later,
is going to run now and have dinner soon!
Very random but yeah, later guys!

hate me today.

6
5
4

one of my all favourite songs...really love it.
sing it for mummy.

hero to zero

sleep is the easiest thing to do.
you just close your eyes.
but for so many of us,
sleep seems out of our grasp.
we want it but we don't know how to get it.
but once we face our demons, our fears,
and turn to each other for help,
night time isn't so scary,
because you realize you're not alone after all.

7

hold it back

8
you don't know.
you don't understand.
you don't see.
i've been made to believe, once, twice, many times.
then it's back to square one...
for the first time,
you are unpredictable.

~!@#$%#@!@#

9
not funny..................

and the project begins

10
reasons for the delay:
uncertainty and apprehension
the reason for the commencement:
faith, trust, patience and God - love.
(:

the unknown man

11
it's the holidays and my roomie and i
decided to save money by checking out
half of the room and share a transponder (key).
last night i kept the transponder in my track shoes
and locked the door before i went to bed.
(she hadn't return when i went to bed)
at 7am this morning,
i heard the door unlocking and opening,
it wasn't my roomie.
it was an unknown guy and i couldn't see clearly.
he saw me opening my eyes and then he went "oh shit."
then he quickly got out of the room and locked it.
he actually locked it so i thought he meant no harm
so i was quite positive that it's my roomie's friend.
after i managed to contact her,
she said...she didn't tell anyone where we kept the transponder.
and that none of her friends came to our hall at all.
and it's defiinitely not any of the C4 guys, cuz i complained to one of them
and none of them would be awake at 7am.
so tell me, who the hell is that guy?!
i was quite freaked out this morning,
and after talking to my roomie,
WE are freaked out.
@!#!@#%#$@#^%
i should keep a gun in my room,
sounds like a pretty good plan to me.